I barely remember...

I can't remember everything from my youth, there were some fun times, some scary times, but I will try to capture the jest of them for you... I will start by looking back to the day when I saw a photo of myself in the driveway of our townhome, and my uncle was working on the block of the hotrod in the carport. I was so very happy that day... Hands full of grease, a shitty little grin upon my face... I was so happy to be around my safe uncle. And I loved his cars, He was larger than life to me... I can remember him sleeping, covers pulled over his head, and I would wonder how in the world he could breathe? I think looking back now? That he was hiding from me, waiting to see how long it would take me to giggle, and run up, and try to get them off of his face.... Great times..... I remember the night gowns that I would be shoved into, but nothing was better than my uncle's old T-Shirts... I was raised without my father, and having my uncle living with us, was a wonderful thing back then, I don't know if it was out of necessity, or if he wanted to make sure that me and my sister were safe? But I really enjoyed it. I remember once, eating in his hotrod, and accidentally dropping my hotdog onto his naugahide, OH BOY DID HE GET ANGRY! But I remember the yelling, and most of all, aside from the mess, I was more disappointed in myself that I made him mad at me... These were the days before we had a television, when we would find crazy things to do to amuse ourselves, like making paper ghosts, and scaring eachother... Catching frogs after uncle moved, and bringing them home in a bucket, and leaving them in the kitchen sink... I don't know how long my mom was finding dead little fogs that had escaped, but it sure was fun catching them! I know that we eventually got the chicken pox, and as a result, had to be seperated from the family for Easter, that's when my real hero stepped up, and saved the day! Our first television! big and boxey, buttons, no remote... I will never forget the joy I felt that day! We had something nice! I would sit in front of that thing and watch it laying on my tummy, hands under my chin, until my arms went numb... I remember one day that it had rained, someone said look outside, I ran upstairs because I couldn't see it... I climbed onto the toilet, and got a look out of the sliver window, and there it was, a rainbow! It scared me to death, and I fell off of the lid!

This was a simpler time for me as a girl, I had no understanding of how life was supposed to work, and when I got Mousetrap as a gift? I didn't care that mom's boyfriend Louie didn't read the instructions, and we played it all wrong! I was playing it, and that was all that mattered. My memory is fuzzy about most of the things that happened back in that townhouse, but I do remember my first kiss there, Thank You Troy... and I remember the fire.. Somehow someone in the first unit managed to burn most of the triplex down... I remember my mother had a foot poster up in the downstairs, and I always thought, "WOW WHAT A HUGE FOOT!" I remember the day when my mother put footprint grippy stickers in the tub, then called me upstairs, and asked why I had gotten into the tub with dirty feet? I remember crying and denying it, having no clue that they were stickers! I remember having a headboard on my bed that had a cubby in it, and for some reason, I would wake up in the moning curld up in that cubby sleeping on the wood rather than the mattress! Not so comfy! I also remember going to the fair in Pleasenton. It was the Alameda County fair, and I loved it! I loved the chocolate covered frozen bananas, and I remember that mom bought us both little silver rings with a turquoise in them.... Mine eventually disappeared, or I would still be wearing it. I remember the dangle earrings that she and aunt Mary would wear, and shopping for them while we were there.. I also remember many things that we would do, such as going to Washington High, and seeing Fred and Barney, my aunt's Cow and Pig for FFA. In fact, somewhere there is a photo of me riding that cow.. Those were the days when life was easy... But that didn't stop the nightmares... I had the same nightmare over and over for many a year... In fact, I don't think that it stopped until I was about 15 or 16, and I finally told my mother about it. I remember school, I loved school. I hated that no one took me serious, and I wanted so badly to excel in everything that I did. And the sad day from that place? I remember mom telling us to stay inside so that our dog didn't get out. I thought that I was going to be able ot get out, without the dog getting by me, I was wrong, and Tinker got hit by a Volkswagon bug, and died right in front of me, I was devestated.... And it was my fault...